iridescentspeck

There is nothing sweeter, more satisfying, or more peaceful than the sound of rain when you're depressed.

It's raining, now. I wish it'd never stop.

I love that low rumble of thunder and the constant smattering of raindrops on the window and the roof and walls. It's always perfect. I love summer rain.
Always and forever.

Let it rain.

Answer True or False
Q: Been arrested? F
Q: Do you like someone? F
Q: Held a snake? True
Q: Been suspended from school? F
Q: Sang karaoke? F
Q: Done something you told yourself you wouldn't do? T
Q: Laughed until you started crying? T
Q: Caught a snowflake on your tongue? T
Q: Kissed in the rain? F
Q: Sang in the shower?T
Q: Sat on a roof top? T
Q: Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? F
Q: Broken a bone? F
Q: Shaved your head? F
Q: Played a prank on someone? T
Q: Shot a gun? F
Q: Donated Blood? F



LAST PERSON
1. You hung out with? Amanda, Jenny, Misti
2. You texted? Miranda.
3. You were in a car with? Amanda, Jenny, Misti
4. Went to the movies with? Amanda, Kristen
5. Person you went to shop with? Kristen
6. You talked on the phone? Amanda
7. Made you laugh? Amanda/Misti/Jenny (?)
8. You hugged? Miranda

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY...
1. Sun or moon? Moon
2. Winter or Fall? Fall
3. Left or Right? Left
4. Sunny or rainy? Rainy
5. Where do you live? BA
6. Club or pub? Pub
7. Are there 1 or 2 people who you can always trust and rely on? Yes
8. Do you want to get married? Yes
9. Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it? twirl
10. What time is it? 1:18
11. What is your greatest hope/wish? Be comfortable with myself and happy with my life.
12. Do you cook? a little. better with baking.
13. Current mood? sleepy.

IN THE LAST 48 HOURS HAVE YOU...
1. Kissed someone? no.
2. Sang? Yes.
3. Listened to music? Yes.
4. Danced Crazy? Yes
5. Cried? No
6. Liked someone you can't have? No

FIRSTS .....
1. Who was your first roommate? not yet, but it'll be Jenny
2. What was your first car? 2003 navy blue Dodge Stratus
3. When did you go to your first funeral? 6th grade.
4. Who was your first grade teacher? Mrs. Llewellen
5. Where did you go on your first ride on an airplane? San Antonio
6. Who was your first best friend? Jenny S / Meredith
7. Who was your first best friend in college? eh. still Meredith/ Amanda/ Jenny
8. Where was your first sleepover? Meredith's
9. Who is the first person you call when you have a bad day? I tend to either bottle it or vent to Jenny or my mother.
10. Who's wedding were you in the first time you were a Bridesmaid or groomsman? n/a.
11. What's the first thing you did when you got up this morning? hit the snooze, then got up to brush my teeth.
12. What was the first concert you went to? Flogging Molly
13. What was the last concert you went to? some festival of local bands.
14. First tattoo or piercing? ears, 5th grade.

Five names you go by:
1. Laura
2. Laura E.
3. Laurabug
4. Rora
5. DD (darling daughter)
Three things you are wearing right now:
1.shorts
2. green shirt.
3. ...underwear.

Three things you want very badly at the moment:
1. confidence
2. a good boyfriend
3. the guts to take risks.

Two things you did last night:
1. met a puppy Jenny found
2. was LAZY. :)

Two things you ate today:
1. doughnuts.
2. spicy black bean burger! mmm.
Two people you last talked to on the phone:
1. Amanda
2. My mom

Three things you are going to do tomorrow:
1. work
2. hang with friends? 
3. exercise.

Two longest car rides:
1. from here to Virginia.
2. from here to Flagstaff.

Favorite beverage:
1. water

You are NOT ALLOWED to explain ANYTHING unless someone messages you and asks.

Answer True or False
Q: Kissed someone on your friends list? F
Q: Been arrested? F
Q: Do you like someone? F
Q: Held a snake? T
Q: Been suspended from school? F
Q: Sang karaoke? F
Q: Done something you told yourself you wouldn't do? T
Q: Laughed until you started crying? T
Q: Caught a snowflake on your tongue? T
Q: Kissed in the rain? F
Q: Sang in the shower? T
Q: Sat on a roof top? T
Q: Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? F
Q: Broken a bone?F
Q: Shaved your head? F
Q: Played a prank on someone? T
Q: Shot a gun? F
Q: Donated Blood? F

LAST PERSON.
1. You hung out with?
My family - mom, dad, kev, and shauna.
2. You texted?
Jeny
3. You were in a car with?
Mom
4. Went to the movies with?
amanda, kristen
5. Person you went to shop with?
...kristen
6. You talked to on the phone?
amanda
7. Made you laugh?
amanda
8. You hugged?
dad

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY...
1. Sun or moon?
sun
2. Winter or Fall?
fall
3. Left or Right?
left
4. Sunny or rainy?
rainy
5. Where do you live?
BA
6. Club or pub?
pub
7. Are there 1 or 2 people who you can always trust and rely on?
absolutely.
8. Do you want to get married?
Yes.
9. Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it?
twirl
10. What time is it?
8:26
11. Are you afraid of commitment?
yes and no.
12. What is your greatest hope/wish?
To be happy with who I am.
13. Do you cook?
I can bake, hahah.
14. Current mood?
decent, kinda sleepy.

IN THE LAST 48 HOURS HAVE YOU...
1. Kissed someone? No.
2. Sang? yes.
3. Listened to music? Yes.
4. Danced Crazy? maybe?
5. Cried? no?
6. Liked someone you can't have? No.

25 FIRSTS .....
1.Who was your first best friend?
Jenny S.
2. Who was your first roommate?
n/a
4. What was your first job? officially?
Copeland's
6. When did you go to your first funeral and viewing?
7th grade, my grandfather.
7. Who was your first grade teacher?
Mrs. Llewellen
9. Where did you go on your first ride on an airplane?
San Antonio.
10. When you snuck out of your house for the first time?
don't remember.
12. Who was your first Best Friend in high school?
Amanda, Jenny, Amy, Kristen, Eriana
13. Where was your first sleepover?
Meredith's
14. Who is the first person you call when you have a bad day?
nobody. I'm a moper, and don't like to burden people with my down-ness.
15. Who's wedding were you in the first time you were a Bridesmaid or groomsman?
n/a.
16. What's the first thing you did when you got up this morning?
wished I could sleep another hour and a half at least.
17. What was the first concert you went to?
Flogging Molly.
18. What was the last concert you went to?
crap.. it was a bunch of local bands... can't remember name of it.
19. First tattoo or piercing? 5th grade.
20. First celebrity crush? dunno.
22. First crush? 1st grade, Zach L.
23. Current crush? n/a.
24. First pet? we had a dog, cat, and parakeet.
25. First time you tied your shoe laces? 4 or 5 years old. Mom had to answer the phone and I was impatient, haha.


Five names you go by:
1. Laura
2. Miss Laura
3. Laura E.
4. Laurabug
5. Rora

Three things you are wearing right now:
1. pants
2. t-shirt
3. glasses

Three things you want very badly at the moment:
1. confidence
2. a boyfriend
3. money to buy new clothes for summer. :x

Three people who will probably fill this out:
1. /////
2. /////
3. /////
n/a - nobody reads this journal.

Two things you did last night:
1. hung out with 4 awesome people (JHAM). :)
2. watched Australia.

Two things you ate today:
1. waffle
2. whataburger

Two people you last talked to on the phone:
1. amanda
2. corey

Three things you are going to do tomorrow:
1. work
2. clean my room
3. decide on a paint color.

Two longest car rides:both from home
1. Flagstaff, AZ
2. Winterpark, CO

Favorite beverages:
1. water
2. dr. pepper
3. coke

1. First thing you wash in the shower?
hair or body... I like to switch it up. :P

2. What color is your favorite hoodie?
black

3. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
n/a

4. Do you plan outfits?
sometimes.

5. How are you feeling right now?
ready for the responsibility-free summer ahead.

6. What's the closest thing to you that's red?
blanket I'm wrapped in.

7. Tell me about the last dream you remember having.
I got married in my dream last night to a complete stranger. I don't know what that signifies.

8. Did you meet anybody new today?
nope.

9. What are you craving right now?
ice cream, chocolate, cobbler, pie, basically anything gooey and warm or cold and creamy. ;)

10. Do you floss?
no. :( I was gonna last night and realized I don't have any floss.

11. What comes to mind when I say cabbage?
:D and Virginia!

12. Are you emotional?
I wish I wasn't but I am.

13. Have you ever counted to 1,000?
I don't have that kind of attention span. Maybe typed it... but I highly doubt it.

14. Do you bite into your ice cream or do you just lick it?
both. Mostly bite though... that's a creeper question, anyway.

15. Do you like your hair?
Yeah. 's one of my favorite things about me. I need a haircut though.

16. Do you like yourself?
hardly.

17. Would you go out to eat with George W. Bush?
If it was more than just a dinner between me and him, sure. Otherwise I'd feel awkward....

18. What are you listening to right now?
"A Whisper" By Coldplay  (LLLLOOOOVVVEEE COLDPLAY!)

19. Are your parents strict?
yes and no. They don't breathe down my neck, but they expect me to behave well.

20. Would you go sky diving?
Maybe... I might chicken out though.

21. Do you like cottage cheese?
oh my goodness. not at all.

22. Have you ever met a celebrity?
no major players... but then, I have a terrible memory and who knows. I probably have and just didn't make a scene or dwell on it. lol

23. Do you rent movies ever?
ha, ever?? What kind of question is that? yes. I rent movies every now 'n then.

24. Is there anything sparkly in the room you are in?
uhhhhhhhh Not that I know of.

25. How many countries have you visited?
niet.

26. Have you made a prank phone call?
yeah. when I was like 10. the lady told us she'd star 69 us and call the police. :(

27. Have you ever been on a train?
haha if the Christmas Train at Dry Gulch counts, or the train at Silver Dollar City, then yeah! ;)

28. Brown or white eggs?
white, but I don't really have anything against brown eggs.

29. Do you have a cell phone?
who doesn't?

30. Do you use chap stick?
always.

31. Do you own a gun?
naw, but my dad's got a couple.

32. Can you use chopsticks?
very poorly.

33. Who are you going to be with tonight?
myself. :/ and fam, downstairs.

34. Are you too forgiving?
I don't think so. I hold people accountable, but I don't hold grudges either.

35. Ever been in love?
there was one time I thought I could have been.

36. What is your best friend doing tomorrow?
:( being far away still. Probably taking finals. and more studying.

37. Ever have cream puffs?
oh I think I have! :D It was good, if it's what I think.

38. Last time you cried?
while ago.

39. What was the last question you asked?
dang, I dunno. I go hours without talking and I don't transcript my life.

40. Favorite time of the year?
Spring and Summer. :) and Snow Days in Winter. :)

41. Do you have any tattoos?
nope. dad'd kill me, but I think it'd be kind of fun... ;P

42. Are you sarcastic?
haha I try not to be excessively sarcastic, but yeah.

43. Have you ever seen the Butterfly Effect?
no I haven't. I want to though.

44. Ever walked into a wall?
ha, yeah. Well, stumbled, more like.

45. Favorite color?
blue.

46. Have you ever slapped someone?
XD when I was in elementary school and a little boy made me mad, I slapped him and got in trouble.

47. Is your hair curly?
slightly wavy, yes; but curly? no.

48. What was the last CD you bought?
oh my gosh I don't remember. Probably Aranda and Congress of a Crow, long time ago though.

49. Do looks matter?
they are like icing on the cake... the inside is the good stuff but the top makes it look good (haha I like the last person's answer.)

50. Could you ever forgive a cheater?
:( My heart would be shattered and my trust along with it.

51. Is your phone bill sky high?
no clue. My lovely mother and father take care of it for me.

52. Do you like your life right now?
eh. yes and no. kinda no more, though. I feel jaded.

53. Do you sleep with the TV on?
no. I don't have a tv in my room and that's how it's gonna stay.

54. Can you handle the truth?
if you give me a shot, yes I can. I get more frustrated when people try to 'protect' me from something they think will 'scar' me when it's obvious I'll learn about it eventually anyway.

55. Do you have good vision?
Nooooooooooooooooooooo.

56. Do you hate or dislike more than 3 people?
I can only think of 1... 2? 2. so no?

57. How often do you talk on the phone?
not often. maybe once a week.

58. The last person you held hands with?
okay that one stings. I don't know. I have no one to hold hands with, and nobody I wish I could hold hands with.

59. What are you wearing?
my unionbay pants and blue t.

60. What is your favorite animal?
dogs. and bears.

61. Where was your profile picture taken?
lol it's a twilight icon. a still from the movie. lol it was probably filched from a promotional release.

62. Can you hoola hoop?
decently. Give me a minute to warm up, since I don't do it everyday, lol.

63. Do you have a job?
BBW. you betcha.

64. What was the most recent thing you bought?
iced tea from mcalisters. besides food, soap and a massager from work.

65. Have you ever crawled through a window?
lol yeah. but I won't divulge how stealthily.
Although you're free to make your own guesses. ;)

Art Goals:
write / illustrate children's story
create an animation start-finish with Yukon

Travel Goals:
Tennessee - Yukon, Bin, Jack
Lake / rafting - Yukon, Bin, Smurf, etc.

Misc. Goals:
see old friends
clean!
exercise every day
read
volunteer

How old do you act?...

[x] You know how to make a pot of coffee
[x] You keep track of dates using a calendar
[x] You own a credit card
[] You know how to change the oil in a car
[x] You've done your own laundry
[x] You can vote in an election
[x] You can cook for yourself
[] You think politics are interesting

TOTAL SO FAR: 6

[]You show up for school late a lot
[x] You always carry a pen/pencil in your bag/purse/pocket
[x] You've never gotten a detention
[] You have forgotten your own birthday
[x] You like to take walks by yourself
[x] You know what credibility means, without looking it up
[x] You drink caffeine at least once a week

TOTAL SO FAR: 11

[x] You know how to do the dishes
[x] You can count to 10 in another language
[x] When you say you're going to do something you do it
[x] You can mow the lawn
[]You study even when you don't have to
[x] You have hand washed a car before

TOTAL SO FAR: 16


[x] You can spell experience, without looking it up
[] The people at Starbucks know you by name
[x] Your favorite kind of food is take out
[x] You can go to the store without getting something you don't need
[] You understand political jokes the first time they are said
[x] You can type pretty quick

TOTAL SO FAR: 20


[] Your only friends are from your place of employment
[] You have been to a Tupperware party
[x] You have realized that practically no one will take you seriously unless you are over the age of 25 and have a job
[] You have more bills than you can pay
[] You have been to the beach
[x]You use the internet every day
[]You have been outside of the united states 3 or more times
[]You make your bed in the morning

TOTAL: 22

**Re-post this with the subject as: I'm (how old you are) but I act (what you got on the test)
***the number of people you have to tag is the number you got on the test How old do you act?...

I am FREAKING OUT.

I have to do my state taxes, fill out my FAFSA (HOPEFULLY I'M NOT TOO LATE!!!), fill out the application for TCC AGAIN, and try and get this all done THIS WEEK.

Why is it so hard to take care of myself?
:(
I hate responsibility.

/whine.

That other meme from today was supposed to be posted like 8 hours ago. >:(


Pick the month you were born:
January-------I kicked
February------I loved
March--------I karate chopped
April----------I licked
May----------I jumped on
June----------I smelled
July-----------I did the Macarena with
August--------I had lunch with
September----I danced with
October-------I sang to
November-----I yelled at
December-----I ran over

Pick the day (number) you were born on:
1-------a birdbath
2-------a monster
3-------a phone
4-------a fork
5-------a snowman
6-------a gangster
7-------my mobile phone
8-------my dog
9-------my best friends' boyfriend
10-------my neighbor
11-------my science teacher
12-------a banana
13-------a fireman
14-------a stuffed animal
15-------a goat
16-------a pickle
17-------your mom
18-------a spoon
19------ - a smurf
20-------a baseball bat
21-------a ninja
22-------Chuck Norris
23-------a noodle
24-------a squirrel
25-------a football player
26-------my sister
27-------my brother
28-------an iPod
29-------a surfer
30-------a homeless guy
31-------a llama

What is the last number of the year you were born:
1--------- In my car
2 --------- On your car
3 ----------- In a hole
4 ----------- Under your bed
5 ----------- Riding a Motorcycle
6 --------- sliding down a hill
7 --------- in an elevator
8---------- at the dinner table
9 -------- In line at the bank
0 -------- in your bathroom

Pick the color of shirt you are wearing:
White---------because I'm cool like that
Black---------because that's how I roll.
Pink-----------because I'm NOT crazy.
Red-----------because the voices told me to.
Blue-----------because I'm sexy and I do what I want
Green---------because I think I need some serious help.
Purple---------because I'm AWESOME!
Gray----------because Big Bird said to and he's my leader.
Yellow--------because someone offered me 1,000,000 dollars
Orange--------because my family thinks I'm stupid anyway.
Brown---------because I can.
Other----------because I'm a Ninja!
None----------because I can't control myself!

Now type out the sentence you made, in the TITLE line and tag your friends.


harhar. anyway, yeah. this was one of the lamer meme's I've done. stolen from a girl I don't even know on facebook. ~awkward. lol

(taken from zoe's facebook after I clicked on a link on emmy's.

When was the last time you were told you were beautiful?
a long time ago. not counting my dad who says it at least once a week.

Look at your recent calls, who was your last missed call from?
too lazy to get my phone. :P


What is bothering you right now?
The same old things.


What is your favorite color?
blue


Who's the last person you texted?
Grant.


Is there a high chance of you going out to the movies soon?
Maybe.


Are you easily scared by horror/thriller films?
Yes and no. Thrillers aren't believable. Some Horror films get me, though.


If you had $100 would you spend or save it?
save 50% and spend 50%, same as all my money. haha.


If there was a large spider in the room, would you stay?
I'd probably get some windex and spray it or smash it with the nearest blunt object. ;)



Do you regret anything you've done lately?
not lately.

Where are you right now?
my room.

Are you listening to music right now? What song?
no music atm, last song I heard was "something to sleep to" by michelle branch


What are you thinking about right now?
spanish homework I should be doing.


What are you doing tonight?
homework. copying kristen's history notes. probably more spanish homework. reading.

Could you date someone taller than you?
umm yeah, I would prefer to date someone taller. I'm average height for a girl.


Next time you will go to the doctor?
When I need to.


Last time you cried?
at least 2 weeks ago.


Do you have the same name as any of your relatives?
...eh... my dad's aunt? She's long gone, though. And she didn't go by my name so whatever.


What were you doing at midnight Friday night?
Errr... I never remember anything. either messin' around on the 'net or reading or sleeping. or taking a shower?


Are you afraid to grow up?
yeah. lots of responsibility.


Do you have someone who you can be your complete self around?
yeah, more than one. :) <3

If you could pack up and leave your life now to move away, would you?
it would be hard, but I could probably do it.


When was the last time someone yelled at you?
a while ago.


Did you have a dream last night?
can't remember it. last one was where I turned into a fairy, with a long sticklike body and long pointy ears.


Do you have nice eyes?
I like 'em. :)


What are the last 2 digits in your phone number?
57


What was the last thing you ate?
a hotdog. :( I don't even like 'em, I was just hungry.


How is the weather right now?
lovely. a little chilly, perhaps.. it's cloudy and that promises rain in the future. :) <3


Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
 my manager.


What color are your eyes?
blue.


What books are you reading?
The Picture of Dorian Gray, New Moon, and I started The Host... XD


Have you ever fired a gun?
nothing more serious than a bebe gun.


How many pillows do you sleep with?
I sleep with one, very flat, pillow.


Are you missing someone?
Yeah. Best friends. </3

[ ]Kissed someone before dating
[ ] Gotten a phone taken away at school
[x] Gotten caught chewing gum
[ ] Gotten caught cheating on a test
Total so far: 1

[x] Arrived late to class more than 5 times
[ ] Didn't do homework over 5 times
[ ] Turned at least 2 projects in late
[x] Missed school just because you felt like it
[ ] Laughed so loud you got kicked out of class
Total so far:3


[x] Got your mom, dad, etc to get you out of school
[x] Text people during class
[x] Passed notes
[ ] Threw stuff across the room
[ ] Laughed at the teacher
Total so far:6


[ ] Took pictures during school hours
[ ] Called someone during school hours
[x] Listened to iPod ,CD, etc during school hours
Total so far: 7


[ ] Threw something at the teacher
[ ] Went outside the classroom without permission
[ ] Broke the dress code
[ ] Failed a class
[x] Ate food during class
Total so far: 8


[x] Gotten a call from school
[ ] Been called the worst student
[ ] Punished on a school trip because you behaved badly
[ ] Didn't take your stuff to school
[ ] Given a teacher the finger when they weren't looking
Total so far: 9


[x] Faked your parents signature
[ ] Slept in class
[ ] Cursed at your teacher behind their back
[x] Copied homework
[ ] Got in trouble with the principal/vice principal/dean
[ ] Thrown food in the lunch room
total so far: 11

Multiply by 3
Post as "i screwed up __ % of my teenage life"
How much of your teenage life have you screwed up?  33%, apparently.
Whatever.  Girl I took this from had 84%. Geeze.

1. When I was younger, I had two best friends. Mutually exclusive of each other. I now only speak to one of these people, and many times our conversations hark back to the old days of our childhood.

2. My brothers and I have never really been close, excepting a few brief years before school when I played with one of my brothers every day. He and I have a somewhat strained relationship, and often I feel it's because of my actions, not his.

3. I'm religious, though I try not to flaunt it. I'm deathly afraid of scaring people off by being gung-ho, and becoming someone with a fish-decals on her car, more concerned with telling the world what I believe than actually living it. The most obvious religious item I wear is a mustard-seed necklace. For those of you who don't know, the mustard seed is a symbol of faith.

4. I hate being in debates, as I get flustered easily and can very quickly lose my ground, appearing as an emotional fool who can't form two coherent (not to mention intelligent) sentences. I'm much more effective when I can take my time in responses, and check my emotions before I let something I'll later regret slip. This is why I love any kind of written communication. It gives me time to think exactly how I want to say something. However, I've never thought my writing style was really that eloquent.

5. I'm truly blessed in the best friends I have; they're closer to me than family, and I know I can trust them with anything. This sounds ridiculously corny, but it's honestly the way I feel about them.

6. I have a deep dark secret, and unless you already know it, you're not going to.

7. It takes some seriously distressing and stressful situations to make me cry. Any time I feel I've lost hope or something equally irreplaceable, tears come to my eyes. Half the time, I'm able to blink them away and bottle the feeling for a future breakdown. I haven't sobbed since the last time I remembered how I felt when my grandfather died in 7th grade, just about a month ago.

8. I want to live my life forward, with no regrets, but I'm constantly peeking over my shoulder at the past. I can't move on from things very well, but unless you're in my innermost circle, I try not to show it. However, I've been told before that my face is as easy to read as words on a page, yet also that I'm hard to read. Therefore, I'm obviously not highly skilled in masking emotions.

9. I live in the present, either looking back, or dreaming of the future, and hoping for things I'm not sure will come to pass, but I cling to hope. (I even have a yellow "HOPE" keychain.)

10. I absolutely hate confrontation. I let things slide until the point when things have to explode. It's never a good situation, and it's all very intense. I also hate being impolite and inconsiderate of others. Manners are powerful tools when it comes to civility. I don't understand why more people don't care about the way they present themselves to others.

11. I'm inspired by aboriginal and native cultures, and I've been told you can see it in my art. Any day I get a comment like that or one saying I'd make a good children's book artist or otherwise professional artist is a good day. :) (Also I'm obviously inspired by colors. Each one represents something different to me, but I don't always think out the use of each other before I put them on a page. I like contrasts, and I like bright and intensely saturated tones; it is a prevalent hallmark of my illustrations).

12. I tend to keep the friends I make for a long, long time. Even those I haven't seen face-to-face (aka online friends) I generally keep in touch with. I've known my first best friend since I was 5 or 6, and I've known my oldest online friend since I was about 13. I don't think about it, I just relate to people easily and love the bonding process. Obviously I'm not immune to losing friends, though. I think the count of lost best friends is about to reach 3. I'm aware this is an insanely low number in respect to many people, but there you have it.

13. My biggest fears have to do with the unknown - aliens and ghosts. Every now and again I'll be trying to fall asleep and feel my bed shaking, but as soon as I sit up, it stops. Generally I have to turn the lights on and distract myself before trying to fall asleep again, which is difficult when you're exhausted as is. I'm convinced it's just my imagination, but still every time it happens I'm afraid there's a ghost or an alien lurking in my room.

14. My dream home is a cabin in the mountains with a gorgeous view, unobstructed by powerlines (or any such undesirable sight) and stretching for miles over a nearby city. It would have all accomodations like electricity and running water and an art studio with one wall entirely windows, facing that amazing view, and an unbelievable kitchen.

15. I'm one hundred percent scared of the future. I feel all the time that I'll end up alone, and though some days that thought depresses me to no end, I'm also starting to come to terms with it.

16. I'm hypocritical. I can be as frustrated as anyone with the churchgoers that do whatever they feel like doing and still count themselves better than most people because they go to church every time the doors are open and ask for forgiveness after committing the same sins over and over, but I'm half guilty of those same allegations. I do ask for forgiveness for the same things over and over. I have no self-control, and my sense of shame on my part has become altogether too light to count as the real feeling anymore (if you're asking me).

17. My hands are, more often than not, cold. I prefer winter to summer and spring to fall, while most people agree with the spring vs. fall point of view, less people like winter over summer in my experience.

18. I wish I had taken German or Latin instead of Spanish, even though it's the most practical of the three.

19. I despise politics. I know very well that it's smart to stay plugged in and listen to the political atmosphere, especially at election time; I just can't bring myself to hear anything more than topics to argue over later. I have my morals and live my life accordingly to the best of my ability. I'm Republican only because I find myself agreeing with 'right-wing' standpoints more often than I do 'left-wing'. I'm no anarchist, but I can't stand talk of politics.

20. My ultimate goal in life is to learn to accept myself. I'm probably the most self-conscious person you could ever meet, though I fight not to be self-centered. I'm not sure that I'm winning that battle most days, which leads me to be more self-conscious.

21. When I retire, I hope to be comfortable, happy, and feel at least a little bit accomplished. My realistic or pessimistic instincts tell me not to hold my breath.

22. I've always been a very careful person when it came to handling things. When I'm clumsy, I'm more ashamed of myself than embarrassed.

23. A few favorites:
Month-March
Flavors-blueberry, blackberry, nectarine, and pomegranate
Time of day-mid-morning or late night
Letters-R, J, and S (no particular reasons... I like their shapes)
Color-all tones of blue
Animal-Dogs (all breeds but chihuahuas. I can't stand 'em).

24. While most people seem to have big dreams for their futures, I can't seem to fantasize about mine hardly at all. Closest 'dream life' I've come up with was artist with a studio in my own house in the mountains, with a couple of big dogs and a few really good friends.

25. Lately I feel I've lost my drive. I know I ought to do something and make a goal of completing a task before it's the night before a due-date, but still I procrastinate until it's that night before and I'm up until the wee hours of the morning or maybe forgoing sleep at all. It's my desperate hope that I can teach myself to be more motivated and to ignore distractions more effectively.

I steal these from various devart journals and post them here because I have no desire to force people to read them. They just look like fun (because I find mundane things like forms fun to fill out x_x;).

Step 1: Put your iTunes or equivalent on random.
Step 2: Post the first line from the first 30 songs that play, no matter how embarrassing.
Step 3: Looking them up on Google or any other search engine is CHEATING.

1.The lions roar, and young men soar, the flames all scorch the circus floor...

2. Another lonely night in Amsterdam...

3. Make it for to happen, in a world you get to bad  (LOL I CAN'T UNDERSTAND THEM but I love this song)

4. Who'll face the tide and take their chances...

5. Bones, sinking like stones, all that we fall for...

6. Hakuna Matata, what a wonderful phrase!

7. 'Lucky for me,' you think, 'this only happens one time.'

8. Oh, Angelina, you are the sun and the moon

9. After that confrontation, you left me wringing my cold hands

10. I lie awake at night, I fight the thoughts in my head

11. I'm not alone, 'cause the TV's on, yeah

12. Tick tock, me, alive, I was born in ever, when you fill, fill me up

13. A cloud hangs over, it's the city by the sea..

14. I'm getting closer by the day

15. Can anybody find me somebody to love?

16. Black rose and a radio fire, is so contagious

17. Situation number one, it's the one that's just begun

18. Ooh, you make me live

19. Take your time, don't you bloody worry, I'll be fine, oh

20. I run from pain

21. Shadows all around you as you surface from the dark

22. When you're on, I swear you're on

23. I'm in the business of misery, let's take it from the top

24. Gonna wrap my arms around my daddy's neck, 'n tell him that I missed him

25. I can't escape this Hell

26. Piece by piece, and bit by bit, I'll break this down for you real slow

27. Sailing over wave and tide, oh oh

28. One boy, one girl, two hearts, their world

29. Some days go by, I wish I were famous

30. One day I slowly floated away

There you have it. :)

How it happens this way,
I'll never say,
never be sure of again...

I wonder everyday
if there was something I said
or should have

I'm sorry for the way I walked away
when you were getting to know me

I'm sorry for the way I tried to play again and again..

I don't know where I am, half the time
I don't know who I really want to be
I'm afraid of who I am
And the expectations that I have yet to reach.


stream of consciousness poem...? that's right.
DOCTOR WHO ROCKS. :)

So I got hit with a wave of grief over Grandpa... and started crying. I haven't cried in a long time.
I really really miss him.
It still hurts.

Sometimes I think it won't ever stop hurting.

On a lighter note, I'm newly obsessed with Dr. Who, thanks to EP over at DA. :D I can't get enough of the Doctor! lol It's really the best, really. It's helping me dry my eyes at the mo' except that it's on websites that freeze up as the video tries to load. :/

Got school tomorrow morning, though. So 'night.

http://www.artinstitutes.edu/dallas/Academics/Default.aspx?discipline=6&subdiscipline=&command=Programs&program=448

this page makes me weep inside.

Brittany wants to set me up with a friend of hers.
He was very tall, and very cute.

...I wonder what he thinks of me...

Something in me wants to change
Make me different, maybe stranger
I don't know if I can do it on my own,
I tried before
And I'm not strong enough...

I need arms to hold me when I fail
I need hands to pick me up when I fall down
I need something stronger than I am,
I need a heart to adore me in my flaws
I need the courage and the faith to carry on
I need the hope of one day finding that I am
Just like anyone

Just like anyone

I don't want to feel like I'm feeling
When I'm down
I don't want to feel the darkness coming to surround me
I can't stand it when I feel like giving up
And sitting out!

So, please, don't let me give up
Just fill every bit of me with your love
Don't let me start to doubt
I know one day I'll look back and praise you
Praise you

But til then, Lord, I'm waiting
I'm trying my best to be patient
Some days are better,
some days are not
But I'll feel better when I feel
Just like anyone

Just like anyone.

It was a good Christmas... Christmas Eve could've been better, but overall, I enjoyed myself. :)

What I got this year:

Eisley "Room Noises" CD
The New Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain by Betty Edwards
The Tales of Beedle the Bard by J.K. Rowling
a new sketchbook
erasable colored pencils
a few mat-frames
pearl earrings

:) a good haul.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.

Place your I-Tunes on Shuffle- and answer the questions with whatever comes up.


If someone says "is this okay?" You say:
"Sweet Misery" - Michelle Branch

How would you describe yourself?
"Rusted Silhouette" - Drake Bell

What do you like in a guy?
"2 O' Clock" - Kaki King

How do you feel today?
"We Are Broken" - Paramore

What is your life's purpose?
"Mon Manege a Moi" - Edith Piaf  (nope, I dunno what the translation is)

What is your motto?
"Sabra Girl" - Nickel Creek

What do your friends think of you?
"Can't Stop Now" - Keane

What do you think of your parents?
"Mile Away" - Capital Lights

What do you think about all the time?
"Don't Wake Me Up" - The Hush Sound  

What do you think of your best friend?
"Take Me Higher" - Jars of Clay

What do you think of the person you like?
"Driftwood" - Travis

What is your life story?
"Chasing Cars" - Snow Patrol

What do you want to be when you grow up?
"Hospital Bed Crawl" - The Hush Sound

What comes to mind when you see the person you like?
"3 Times and You Lose" - Travis

What will you dance to at your wedding?
"Ada" - The National

What will they play at your funeral?
"Not Your Concern" - The Hush Sound

What is your hobby/interest?
"This Side" - Nickel Creek

What iis your biggest fear?
"Goodnight Goodnight" - Hot Hot Heat

What is your biggest secret?
"Under the Stars" - Lion King soundtrack (haha)

What do you think of your friends?
"Fighting in a Sack" - The Shins (so true. No escape. Constant bickering between us. :*()

What will you post this as?
"I know the Feeling" - The Classic Crime

1. Put your iTunes on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!


I always want to do these and never want to show 'em. :)

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
Sparks

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
You Can't Hide


WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
The Coldest Heart


HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
One Step Beyond 

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Cemeteries of London

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
The Show

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
42

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
  A Dark Congregation

WHAT IS 2+2?
  High Lonesome

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
On My Own

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Robin & Marian

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Sabra Girl

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
The Way I Am

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Sleeping In

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Brainy

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Flight of Kings

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
A Million Ways

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
The Hand Song

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Atom

WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
2 O'Clock
HOW WILL YOU DIE?
Carouselle

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
Good People

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
Better Together

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
Never Too Late

WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
I Ka Barra (Your Work)

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
When In Rome

DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
Neon

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
Let the Flames Begin

WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
Magnetic Hill

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
Ain't No Reason